I’m sorry for the delayed reply on this, Fred. I love your example from Cleave. What a great paragraph, and it’s the type of paragraph that only a few writers in the world would be able to write (and be able to pull off).
The interesting thing to me is that a lot of writing style comes down to deciding which rules you’re comfortable breaking: punctuation, capitalization, run-on sentences, fragments, etc. I think the beauty of writing is that the more you do it, the more you get a feel for what you can get away with and what strategic rule-breaking will actually strengthen the reader’s experience.