I’m Not Sure I Want to Call Myself a Christian Anymore
Evangelicals have supported Trump, resisted Black Lives Matter, and propagated conspiracies. Is that what Jesus would do?
This is the story I never thought I would write. I normally write about business, leadership, and personal development. Religion — although very important to me — has never been in my writing wheelhouse. And unfortunately, religion now seems to intersect so closely with politics that by covering one taboo topic, a writer must cover them both.
C.S. Lewis was the one who finally spurred me to action. Tonight I was reading a passage in his book The Four Loves, in which Lewis talks about Christianity’s “specific contribution to the sum of human cruelty and treachery.”
How sad it is that those words ring true. A religion begun on the virtues of loving one’s neighbor and caring for the poor has been bastardized into an unrecognizable force of vitriol, injustice, and hate.
Growing up, I heard snippets of my religion’s tarnished past. In the Middle Ages, Christians led the Crusades that killed millions of people. In the 1930s and 40s, Christians largely supported Nazi Germany as Hitler and his SS slaughtered millions of innocent Jews. And in early American history, the Bible was used to justify slavery.
When I heard stories like those, I jumped to two conclusions:
- The Christian church is comprised of humans, and humans make mistakes.
- Christianity has learned its lesson and will not repeat those mistakes.
Although I was right on the first count, I was woefully wrong on the second. In the past four years, Christians have helped bring to power a President so corrupt and vile that his brand name is associated with sexual harassment, narcissism, nepotism, division, racism, and injustice. The same Christians who decried Bill Clinton’s infidelity in 1998 have praised Donald Trump despite his dual divorces, innumerable infidelities, and shocking sexist comments.
The New York Times wrote, “At key moments for the past four years, conservative Christians have time and again offered their uncompromising support for Mr. Trump when he needed it most.” The New York Times interviewed three evangelical Christians, and “All say their support for Mr. Trump has grown even stronger since they voted for him four years ago.” The Guardian reports that 2020 exit polls showed that 75 percent of white evangelicals voted for Trump this year.
Some of my Christian friends and family members have become one-issue voters — simply voting for Trump because he says he is pro-life. Meanwhile, the same Christians have no qualms with the President demeaning life after humans emerge from the womb. Trump can enforce a Muslim ban, separate kids from their parents at the border, say there were “very fine people on both sides” as neo-Nazis sling racial epithets, and refer to dead soldiers as “losers.” The Jesus I know wouldn’t be comfortable with that lack of compassion for humanity.
If life is so sacred, why aren’t we protecting its sanctity after birth?
Many evangelical Christians have refused to stand with our Black brothers and sisters through the Black Lives Matter movement, claiming that it’s “anarchist,” “violent,” or “destroying the family unit.” Decision Magazine (founded by Billy Graham) even published a July piece entitled “The Stated Goals of Black Lives Matter Are Anti-Christian,” wherein they said that BLM’s support of LGBTQ+ rights makes it anti-Biblical. And the only people I know who still say the counter-response “All Lives Matter” are all Christians.
A religion begun on the virtues of loving one’s neighbor and caring for the poor has been bastardized into an unrecognizable force of vitriol, injustice, and hate.
Jesus stood for love, compassion, hope, and justice. He advocated for the underprivileged. With Jesus standing for all of these things, how the hell did we get here?
Why did Christianity hitch its wagon to so many things that are the antithesis of what Jesus represented? And what would He do to fix this mess if He were here?
Let’s first look at three potential causes that got Christians to this point.
Cause #1 — Black-and-White Thinking
I can vividly remember sitting in a church van in junior high, driving to winter camp with the rest of my church youth group. Another teenager in the van began talking about Harry Potter, so in an attempt to save the poor kid’s soul, I jumped in to tell him that Harry Potter was written to hook children on witchcraft. I admonished my peer for reading such “secular” material — full of witches, wizards, and darkness.
This was what Christianity looked like to me, based on the messages that I had heard from pastors, family, friends, and Christian magazines for years. Everything was black and white.
Harry Potter? Bad. Gateway to Satanism.
The Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia? Good. Packed with just as much magic, but they were supposedly allegorical.
Secular rock bands like Linkin Park? Bad. Angry music that turns kids into angry teens.
Christian rock bands like 12 Stones? Good. Just as heavy but with a “positive message.”
Bad and good. Black and white.
A few years after this Harry Potter conversation, I graduated from my small Christian high school. That fall, when most of my friends were headed down the street to the local Christian university, I found myself on the campus of a secular liberal arts college. The school had generously awarded me a full-ride scholarship, so even though I wasn’t sure what to expect at the secular school, I enrolled.
For the next four years, I debated professors and students about religion, philosophy, ethics, and the history of the world. With each conversation, I shed layers of black-and-white thinking and added layers of gray.
Some Christians would read that last sentence and think: Yup, that’s exactly what a liberal education will do to you. My kids will never attend a school like that. And you know what? I’m really sorry to hear that. I believe my faith is stronger and richer now than it was before.
I now hold my opinions with an open hand rather than a closed fist, always eager to learn and challenge my current beliefs.
My religion shifted from regurgitated propaganda and spiritual one-liners to deep, reasoned thinking about what I truly believe. My faith is now more personal and meaningful because I’ve had to think about it, wrestle with it, and fight for it. I’ve shed the gaudy robes of hypocrisy and inauthenticity I previously wore, exposing my own vulnerability and lack of answers to some of the tough questions. The result is that I now hold my opinions with an open hand rather than a closed fist, always eager to learn and challenge my current beliefs.
While it’s certainly not a bad thing for a person to have strong convictions, it’s dangerous to never question one’s own convictions. It seems many Christians have closed their fist around their black-and-white beliefs, refusing to challenge their assumptions. Christians who have always allied with the pro-life candidate or the conservative candidate now find themselves with an interesting bedfellow: a misogynist whom they wouldn’t even trust with their own daughters.
Cause #2 — Self-Fulfilling Paranoia
We’re now living in what some have called a “post-truth world.” Anyone can believe what they want to believe and find a dozen articles online to back up their warped views. From extremist “news” networks to niche blogs and political think tanks, partisans are cranking out false propaganda at a jaw-dropping rate.
Unfortunately, the Christian community was already primed to distrust mainstream news sources. Growing up, I must have heard the phrase “the liberal media” a thousand times. The best word I can find to describe the Christian mentality toward media is “paranoia”: Everyone is against us. Every news source is biased against Christianity.
For years, the conservative Christian air has been saturated with combustible paranoia. Then Trump came along and lit the match, igniting an inferno of division, distrust, “us vs. them” thinking, and conspiracy.
Now, anytime a Christian hears a story on PBS, NBC, or ABC that doesn’t align with their worldview, they have presidential license to dismiss the story as fake news from the liberal media. And they can simply flip the channel to their favorite propaganda peddler who will trot out a couple of experts who disagree with the facts the other network shared.
The trouble with this paranoid mindset is that it becomes self-fulfilling. The more Christians dismiss mainstream news sources as biased and unfair, the more they become disconnected from reality. The more disconnected Christians become, the higher likelihood they’ll embrace conspiracy theories, and the more that happens, the more mainstream news sources will have legitimate reasons to blame the Christian community for propagating falsehoods like Pizzagate, QAnon, voter fraud, anti-masking, anti-vaxxing, and climate change denial.
As an example of this, NPR recently interviewed reporter Katelyn Beaty from the Religion News Service to ask about the spread of the QAnon conspiracy theory in Christian churches. Beaty spoke to several pastors about it who felt that “if they try to point their church members to credible news sources, to mainstream media, that none of that will come through because, of course, according to the QAnon conspiracy theory, the mainstream media is part of the cover-up.”
Unfortunately, it’s all one big reinforcing loop that leads more Christians to believe that the liberal media is out to get them.
Now, anytime a Christian hears a story on PBS, NBC, or ABC that doesn’t align with their worldview, they have presidential license to dismiss the story as fake news from the liberal media. And they can simply flip the channel to their favorite propaganda peddler who will trot out a couple of experts who disagree with the facts the other network shared.
Cause #3 — Echo Chambers
Ahh, social media. All of our friends, all in one digital place. And the more we pound that “Like” button, the more we see content that mirrors our current beliefs.
It’s a recipe for ideological inbreeding, and with every minute we spend on social media, we take another step down the path of our own personal echo chamber. But let’s not forget the cherry on top…it’s all monetized by marketing puppeteers who use big data to serve up exactly the right ad that will make us more or less likely to show up to vote, attend a rally, or buy that new pair of Nikes.
These echo chambers affect everyone — Christians, non-Christians, liberals, conservatives. However, because of the black-and-white thinking and paranoia mentioned above, Christians seem uniquely positioned to fall into these echo chambers. If everyone is out to get you, then it’s only natural to take comfort in the opinions of your fellow believers. And when you see that 5 or 10 of your closest friends are all talking about the same thing, it’s far too easy to jump on the bandwagon without doing fact-checking or soul-searching of your own.
These three catalysts — black-and-white thinking, paranoia, and echo chambers — are a powerful cocktail of misinformation. Anyone sipping on that cocktail will become intoxicated with conspiracy, division, and hatred.
And unfortunately, this misinformation has led many of my Christian brothers and sisters to not only support a nefarious President but also take up arms against civil rights and human rights. My hope is that decades from now, people will look back upon the evangelical church of today the same way we look back upon Christian crusaders, slaveowners, and allies of Fascism. With every hateful tweet and counter-protest chant, Christians are cementing themselves on the wrong side of history.
What’s in a Name?
In many ways, I’m a stronger Christian than I ever was before. And yet, that word “Christian” tastes so strange in my mouth.
Any time I tell someone I’m a Christian, I feel the need to immediately explain that I’m not like many of the Christians they’ve seen on television waving Trump flags, telling Muslims to “go back their country,” and conducting counter-protests at Black Lives Matter marches and civil rights functions. It’s sad that I feel the need to separate myself from the actions of other Christ-followers right out of the gate, but it’s become necessary.
I’ve debated with Christian friends about whether describing ourselves as “Christians” is a positive or negative thing. Although I think it’s important to distance myself from the unloving, un-Godlike displays I’ve seen from fellow Christians, I also think there’s power in trying to reclaim and redeem the Christian label to try to help people see what Christianity is all about: love, compassion, hope, and justice.
What Would Jesus Do?
As someone who still follows Jesus, I have been wondering…what would Jesus do if He were living here with us in America in 2020?
Personally, I believe He would be out marching for Black Lives Matter. No, He wouldn’t be lobbing Molotov cocktails at police or breaking the window at his local JCPenney. (In fact, very few protestors are actually doing those things.) He would be mediating conflict between police and (rightfully) angry protestors, trying to quell division while standing up for human rights.
I believe He would be trying to dismantle racism and injustice in all its forms. He would be advocating for equal access for voting, rehabilitation for the mentally ill, fair sentences for crimes, second and third chances for those convicted of crimes, and human rights for all people.
I believe He would be pushing for more transparency and less corruption in government. He would be advocating for truth in a post-truth world.
Call me a Christian or don’t. Apply whatever label you want to my beliefs. I stand with the Jesus that I read about in the Bible. The one who feeds the hungry, cares for the sick, visits the imprisoned, pardons the guilty, and stands with the oppressed. That’s what my Jesus looks like.
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